House Work

I've never lived in a magazine house. That house where everything has a place and everything is in it's place. I don't have a place for everything and if I did, it wouldn't be there. At my house, and most houses, we go for sanitary. I don't expect to eat off the floor, but who really wants to? We are cluttered. There is always something going on, and whatever that is, it's paraphernalia is out. My mom says that's just lived in. Some of it drives me nuts. Some of it, I've given up on. "Pick your battles" I always say. So here's a bit for those of us who live in the real world.

First, don't apologize. I still do it. You know, "Excuse the mess." or "Sorry about the clutter.". Try this one, "If you came to see me, come in. If you came to see the house, stay outside." That's a better attitude. One friend of mine says that if you have to apologize for it, change it. Which I think applies to life, personalities, houses, etc. So, although I still catch myself apologizing, I don't do it as often. I also look around at why I'm asking forgiveness. Right now, it's the clutter behind the couch. Ok, I can deal with that much. The laundry that is always out doesn't faze me anymore. I try to keep it in baskets so that if someone comes over they have a place to sit. There's a game box out and the baby food jars that my son was using for his bug collection. The game is in the box, so good enough. I'll remind the kids when they get home. The jars need to be packed back up and put in the shed. My son can do that. First priority is that mess behind the couch that I feel the need to apologize for.

That brings me to the second thing that I have come to accept. Prioritize. Dishes and laundry are #1 here. Those things we need to use. The animal cages and food. They are living things and if you're not going to take care of them, find someone that will. #2 is pick up your garbage, your dishes, and whatever you've gotten out. If it's not yours, pick it up anyway, someone else will do the same for you. Let's not make things worse. #3 the floors. I was told a long time ago that a clean floor makes the room look better. If you only have time for one thing, do the floor. It's true, partly I think, because I tend to move things to vacuum so some picking up gets done as well. After that it's all gravy. If I can get my craft stuff organized or that flat spot that collects everything cleaned off, then hallelujah. I live here, and my family lives here, and I don't keep life from happening so that it looks good when someone comes over.

The next thing is just kind of an observation, take what you will from it. A friend told me a while back that she was reading a book on self confidence or something. In it, the author pointed out that women judge themselves on their houses, husbands, children etc. Which tends to be true. We don't look at what we've accomplished, we look at the mess we made doing it. Anyway, the author then says that a quick pick me up is a clean kitchen sink. I get that. Then my friend said that she would clean out her sink by putting all the dishes on the floor and scrubbing it out. That's where she lost me. She then went on to give the stainless steel a coat of cooking oil so that it was nice and shiny. I didn't read the book, but I don't know that this is what the author had in mind. I told her with all that work she could have actually done the dishes and thereby truly accomplished something, and that now her sink was oily and would need washed out, (more work). I realized that I have a few things that make me feel better and make my life easier, like a cleaned out sink or a clean table. I put those things higher on my list. I then pat myself on the back and reward myself and my family with fun time when they are done. I have to resist the urge to say "Since we're on a roll....." and try to keep working. It also reiterated the old saying "If your going to do something, do it right."

That's my rant on housework. It stinks, but some of it needs done and the rest will wait. Doing things with my family is more important to me. Of course, I want my kids to know how to work, and I do work them. Just ask them. I just don't want it to be the only thing they remember about me.

One more candle

It's amazing what little things can do. Today a friend stopped by on her way home. We like each other but just haven't "hung out" much, so this was a surprise. She said," I just felt that I should stop and see how you were doing." I hadn't had a particularly bad day. The funny thing is, I wasn't down before, but now, I just felt better. Such a simple thing. It didn't save my life or bring relief to some tragic moment. Just a little glow to my day. An extra smile. How strange that such a simple thing could bring light to the day. We don't know the lights have dimmed at all, until someone else adds the light from their one candle.

Get ready for some deep thought . . . . . .

Why?

Actually, I'm asking you. When you ask people something vague you tend to get back diverse answers. So, I'm asking. Why? What? Who? All are perfectly legitimate questions and I'd like to see answers. I'm sure those answers will lead to infinitely more questions but how else do you learn. Let's just keep it clean is all I ask (Ya know, other than the above).

The Platypus Mound, slightly tweaked.

Do you remember the Platypus family on Mr. Rogers? I always loved them. Anna was too girley for me, but I loved how they were as a family. That's where the name comes from. I'm a family gal. I love scrapbooking,crafting, canning, the constant quest to find what I need for a price I can afford, my various other crafting, and time wasters. Our house is constantly under construction and there is always some level of chaos. We laugh cry and drive each other nuts! Through it all, it's family. Family has changed the way I look at life and what deem important. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? If not we would be born like turtles and just left on a beach to run the gauntlet, live or die, on our own. I'll take the insanity that comes with family.

Point is the Platypus mound was like the ideal in family life. There was the doctor dad and artist mom. They were kind and understanding and seemed to always know just what to do. My house, not so much. I tell my 11 year old boy that he's our guinea pig and his brother and sister will be eternally grateful for letting us work out the kinks of parenthood on him. Don't misunderstand, we're still screwing up. I just think we're better at hiding and undoing the things we screw up so it doesn't mess them up as bad. I think a major improvement came when we accepted that we were not perfect and our children are not going to be perfect. It's less upsetting when something goes wrong if your prepared for it. Yes, I've told him a million times not to do it, but I also understand that I've been told a million times about something else and still haven't learned. The consequences will still come in both cases. I can only hope to receive charitable judgments and try to pass out the same.

All in all, life is good. We work and the ends don't always meet, but we survive it. We have each other. I'm so grateful for our kids. It's an honor to have been blessed with them. I appreciate my mom, and grandparents that put in so much love and pulled out so much hair over me and my stupidity. I'm grateful for my dad and the siblings he gave me, and step mothers he gave me. I'm grateful for the excellent man I married and his family. I think about the ups and downs of these relationships and am actually surprised that we all survived and came through it together. Some almost didn't. Life may be good but it's far from perfect.

Thanks for reading this.