Tuesday, January 5, 2016

a bride with the giggles

this is not my story, although i am in it.   it is not my life but i am a part of it.   this is not my case, but i shared in it.


the candles are lit
flowers are in place
everyone is perfectly dressed.  tuxes rented, dresses matched.   every detail planned and perfect from hair done up and bow ties straight, boutonnieres in place and matching manicures for the bride and bridesmaids with color coordinated ribbons and bells painted on each nail.

friends and family are gathered
the preacher stands and the music starts
a groom waits for his bride at the end of the aisle
two by two, groomsmen and bridesmaids step and pause, step and pause their way down the aisle 
the bride appears
she glides down the aisle with her father, both glowing with pride and joy
the bride is given and received
"we are gathered here today . . . . " the most traditional of weddings begins

then, as though some unseen hands reach out and take hold of the bride, a smile spreads across her face.   it is not the glowing beam of elation that usually graces the face of a lovely young bride.   no, this is uncontrollable smile that tries to contain something more.    this is the face of a bride that gets the giggles.

at first, she is able to bite her lips together and stifle any sound.   of course, that tickle will not be controlled, and soon, she is whispering little sounds of laughter.
at first, the solemn groom hopes it will pass as quietly as it started.   a slight annoyance begins to take hold and he shoots his bride a look to try and restore the appropriate decorum.

upon receiving this look from her beloved groom, the bride does what would be called a spit take had she been drinking at the moment.   fortunately for the preacher who might have been showered, she only spewed a bit of sound instead.

at this point, the bridesmaids, to whom the giggles have passed like an epidemic, and have been trying to control their own giggles, are now biting their lips . . . .except the maid of honor who also caught the groomsman's disparaging look and is now softly chuckling as well.

the preacher has droned on and honestly, none of the girls standing with the chuckling bride have any idea what he is saying and are all wondering what is taking so long.   they all hope for the i do's so that they can be released to walk quickly back down the aisle to the freedom of releasing the pent up laughter.    but, no, tis not the case.   the ceremony has only just begun.

the groom is now embarrassed and hoping that only the wedding party is privy to this bout of flippant behaviour.   desperate, he nudges his soon to be wife.   

alas, this has quite the opposite effect and she covers her mouth to try and keep the explosion contained.   all of the bridesmaid are now trying desperately to suppress their giggles to little avail.   

the best man has now joined in his brother's endeavor for the restoration of propriety.   the best man's girlfriend is at the end of the row of bridesmaids and he is just as displeased with her and all of the young women's lack of deportment.  after all, he plans on standing at the head of the same aisle with her soon.   the two brothers now join forces and give what is meant to be a stern look to restore the last shreds of decency to the ceremony.  

simultaneously, the bridesmaids all lift their bouquets to their faces to cover their own versions of the dry spit take.   the 3 remaining grooms men are now smiling and trying to control their own snickers.    the front row of guests are all covering their mouths in an effort to resist the giggles that have spread like the plague.

the bride, alas the poor bride, she has now reached her peak.   she doubles over, one hand on her stomach and one on her face.   she is not only outright laughing but her trademark snort has emerged full force.   

the unfortunate thing about her snorting sow like guffaws, is that it tends to trigger something in the bridesmaid at the end.  the two friends, dating close knit brothers, have developed, entirely unintentionally and uncontrollably, a laugh that happens only when they are together.   the best man's sweet heart, like a piglet answering her mother's snorts, lets out a squee as she tries to catch her breath.   the bride at one end snorting  like a 500 pound sow and bride's maid on the other end squealing like a 3 pound piglet have descended into insuppressible swein like laughter.  

the room has decayed into a variety of chuckles and snickers.   even the preacher has lifted his book to cover his face.   only the two brothers are left immune, mortified at the lack of gentility.

at this point, the preacher has either reached the point of the i do's or has simply cut to it in self defense.   he swallows his own chuckles, the bride and her company stand with tears in their eyes, sore mid-section muscles, and giggles still in their throats.
the couple is pronounced man and wife.
they proceed back down the aisle, somber groom and still tittering bride.
their wedding party follows, groomsmen asking bridesmaids under their breath what was so funny. 
none of them can answer for sure.   
there wasn't anything funny.   
there was nothing to laugh at.
it was nothing more than a bride with the giggles.


*for those of you wondering what ever happened to the snorting bride and her squealing bridesmaid: 

the exuberant bride and the serious groom had a son soon after.   i lost contact soon after that . . .which brings me to the bridesmaid and the groom's brother.   they went their separate ways.   
   
the bridesmaid did become the bride of another.   during their wedding, they shared a laugh while at the altar.    their small party of friends and family shared the laughter and joy of the moment, and continue to do so, the way it should be.