it's not that i don't care, it's that i don't care

in response to a post about judging. 

we actually have this conversation at our house. i tell people that it's not that i don't care about them it's just that i don't care. so, i care about their health and safety but what they do is their business. (please do not mistake that for not getting a truthful answer if you ask.   be sure you really want my opinion if you ask.)

the other side is i don't care what you think. that goes farther with me than with most. i means that i do not do things to get a rise out of you, to make you think i am weird, or normal, or crazy, or funny, or serious or anything else.  i really don't care what other people think.   i am not going to do all the things i want to because it know the thought process of my area and don't want to be arrested.    not that i am wanting to do illegal things but if i went shopping in a gorilla costume, or some of the other fun things that run through my head . . .well, they just don't have a great sense of humor here.   it's misconstrued as needing medical attention.   i will still run around barefoot, which freaks a lot of people out, and play roller coaster on the sidewalks with my kids, but i do have to be aware of what will have repercussions. 

not caring about what others think has some exceptions. 

God's opinion matters to me, it's the only one i will work to conform my thoughts and actions to.

 my husband's opinion also matters to a lesser extent. more than he thinks but less than God's. 

other family and friends have some weight with me or i simply turn to them for opinions and then weigh it with my own thoughts and decide from there. please understand that not caring what others think does not mean that i do not listen to other opinions. i do, and i consider them. sometimes it affects my personal opinions to some degree, small or large, sometimes it spurrs research, sometimes it doesn't.    

not caring does not mean that i will just say what i want and do what i want even if it hurts another person's feelings.   i will try to be polite, tactful, and kind as well as really honest.   yeah, it's kind of a balance.

pretty much, i just don't have time to care about what anyone else thinks or does. like my grandma always said, "you just take care of you and you will have your hands full." (in respect to judging and not meant in regards to service and charity.)   so, you know, if i choose to grow some horns, i will.   if you choose to implant a 3rd eye, do your thing.   if you need help because you blinded yourself doing it, i will still help you get through the maze . . .i might tease you about it though, cuz i am just a good friend like that.

fiery darts!

q-tips!
have you ever thought about the amazingness of cotton on a stick?

clean your ears, nose, belly button and various body cavities with it
swab for dna
general nook and cranny cleaner
building material, nifty crafty stuff for skeletons, bunnies, sheep, stars, snowflakes, turkey tails, people, paintsticks, "what's that smell" game dosers, flowers, fireworks, and spider legs.   of all that funs stuff . . . . .

the most often used at our house- fiery dart!

ephesians 6:13-17
these scriptures talk about putting on the armor of God.   we did a family home evening about it that turned into a favorite past time.

 you need a volunteer to put on the armor -

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

if you don't know how to gird your loins, it is talking about the fact that everyone wore and still wears a robe or tunic.   there are a lot of different names for it, including dishdasha / dish dash, taub / thawbs, abaya . . .not my culture so i am not going to try and educate you on it or pretend that i know the difference between them.   i do know how to gird up your loins and the meaning though.

basically, if you need to run, work, or fight in a long skirt, you are going to trip.  ( i'll trip no matter what, but that's not the point. )   gather up your skirt, pull it forward and then pull the excess between your legs to the back.   pull the material to the sides and out about even so you can wrap it around and tie it in front . . .like a diaper.  you are girded!    
 
you can also just reach under and pull the back upü between the legs.   hoist it all up over the knees and pull the back of your skirt through the front of your belt.  this isn't going to stay as well though, this is like the quicky, "just gotta jump this fence" version

strap a pillow to your volunteer with tape and if you happen to have a nice full skirt, gird 'em up


too

15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

put your shoes on!   even better, a pair of rubber boots, just cuz



16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

we used the lid to a storage bin, you can use a garbage can lid ( if it's clean) or whatever.

17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

slap a bowl on their head, you have a helmet

now, where are the q-tips coming in?   THEY ARE COMIN' IN A BLAZIN'!

everyone else gets a straw and some of these fancy q-tips that we colored for effect ( and so the kids know which q-tips they get to play with and which  ones need to stay in the bathroom for regular use.   they steal my clean q-tips when they run out of ammo, little stinkers! )

load up the straw and you have fiery darts in a blow gun!

this game is so dang much fun!   they don't dress up anymore but they like to have these blow gun fights all the time!   i bought them a couple of the cheapo packages to use and they have to pick them back up and keep using them until the cotton falls off.   no reason to waste good ammo.   they still snag a pack from the bathroom occasionally, but they are good about asking first.

i would be completely remiss if i didn't show you the rapid fire gun my son made from legos.   he is continually making improvements to it.   it just holds several straws together and he can blow down the line like pan pipes and fire however many one right after the other.   he thinks he is very clever!   ( he is )

that is my gratitude for the day.  i hope you never think about q-tips the same way and i even hope you have a little fiery darts war.   it's too much fun to miss!

bowl me over!

today, i am grateful for bowls. have you ever thought about how great bowls are? 
soup, rice, cereal . . . . all the sloppy stuff you wanna eat is perfect for a bowl. 
use it to mix cake, bread, cookies, dressing, paper mache glue . . .
contain jewelry, beads, legos, pins, marbles . . .all those little tiny parts that would escape otherwise.
spin a marble around it in and turn it over, make a hat, catch the leaks, soak the whites, catch a spider, make barbie a swimming pool or a skatepark, use it as a form for that paper mache, bail out your boat . . . .
i am really grateful for bowls

the hug rule

once upon a time there was a very good little boy with way too much energy.   he was kind and loving and helpful.   he got lots of attention and played with his mommy all day long.   anything she did, he did with her.   he just had a lot of energy.   that energy would sometimes sneak out of his body without him knowing it.   it would make a hand to reach out and smack someone.   if you asked him why he did it, he really would not remember doing it.   he was taken to doctors who insisted he was normal.   his mother came up with the best description that all of the doctors agreed with.   he was "a normal little boy, just exaggerated".

so, this is where i was, looking for some help but not wanting my son just medicated.

finally, i just did some mom diagnosis.   i realized that he really did just have more energy than he could control.   i realized that he no matter how much attention he was getting, it wasn't enough.   i realized that he would subconsciously do things to get some attention.   bad attention is better than no attention.   once i realized what he was doing, i could help him understand it too.   when he would "act up" i would ask him if he wanted some attention.   i would ask him if it was nice to get in trouble or if it would be better to have a hug than to get in trouble.   this is where the hug rule was created.

the hug rule -
anyone, anytime, can get a hug from anyone in the house/family.
there is some fine print to this rule of course.   if the person is on the phone, you have to be quiet when getting a hug.   if the person is busy with something, you might have to get a one arm hug but you will get acknowledgement.   the person you go to has to know about the rule, so we don't hug strangers.   if you just did get in trouble and sent to your room/time out, you have to go to time out first.

this works!

here's why it works.
there is the explanation of why they are doing things.   they don't know why, they don't understand it themselves.   this helps them to understand themselves.
they get a positive alternative to what they would normally do.


here i am on the third child, the rule still applies.   my third also has "too much energy".   i have worked with him in the same way.   of course, you have to explain things differently for each child and i had to add that last rule for this last loop hole finding child.   he is still learning to recognize his own motivations.   when he starts "acting up" i ask him why he is doing it and if he needs attention.   then i ask if he wants good attention or bad attention.   and i ask how we get good attention.   with this line of questioning the standard, he is starting to just come tell me he needs attention.   if i have to ask him about it, it takes less questions for him to understand and just come get a hug.

as my oldest has become a teen and my second is entering the teen fun.   this age has helped me find a new use for this awesome rule.   mom hugs!   i have an angry teen and i need to let them know i love them before they go stomping off to their room - anyone, anytime, gets a hug.   mom gets a hug from them!  i take the opportunity to tell them i love them and some kind of positive comment for them.   sometimes i sing something to them, which generally gets a laugh.   this is one of those picking your timing things.   some situations need singing, some just need some words of love.    either way, i love using the hug rule!

now, my kids use the hug rule on each other and i use it on my husband.   i have shared this info with teachers and they have adapted it to their classrooms.   the oldest, my original "exaggerated child", has grown quite a bit and understands his own head better than before.   we have built on the, "why are you doing this?" question over the years.   helping the kids understand what they are doing and why has been a great tool in their lives.   giving mom the opportunity to give some kind and loving words in times of anger is priceless!

that is the beauty of the hug rule!

braided bow

split the top half of the head into two sections.   briad the sections starting at the center of the head.   cross the braids and bring the ends back to the center.  i used a rubberband to hold everything together leaving the unbraided ends to hang in the center.   you will use them in a minute.   now, take a section from the center under the bow and wrap it around the center to make the center of the bow.   it's important that you wrap from front to back.   you can braid it if you want as well.    i have done this with all the hair braided but can't find the pictures . . . be watching for the update.

bring your center down and braid it in with the loose ends of the bow braids.   this holds it all in place.   you can braid all of the hair or bring several braids together for the bow.   it's open for experimentation.  

and two become one braid

this is a simple technique but adds a bit of class to a braid.   

split the hair in half and under braid bringing in hair at every turn.   you want to turn the braid to meet at the center ot the head instead of simply braiding straight down.   braid to the center of the head about half way up.   braid just s little past where there is no more loose hair to bring in and band it.   do this on both sides.   then make one overhand knot with the braided ends.    the braids should be one straight up and one straight down.   bring the braids together and carefully take the bands off.   you don't want them to come unbraided though.    keep your sections separate in your braids.   bring them together and join the sections together.   so the section from outside of the bottom braid should join into the outside section of the top braid and so on.   then just braid as normal.   

you can wrap it a few times if you want, the end is the same.   it turns out really interesting and is still pretty sturdy.  

fat fishbone

this is a basic fishbone done very loosely and with gaps.   

to fishbone, you use only two sections of hair.   this is harder to hold onto while doing it since it does not hold onto itself.   bring a piece of the left side around in under into the right side.   then bring a section of the right side up and over into the left side.   that's it.   you can bring sections into it from loose hair on the opposite side instead as well.   

in this version, i fishbone for a few inches and then bring in loose hair once from each side and then plain fishbone again.   i left the hair a bit loose to give it this larger looser look.  

to end it, you can just continue your basic fishbone.   i liked a little more finished look.  i banded the braid and then took a couple sections in opposite directions around the end, through the place between the braid and the last section of loose hair that came in and then back down and around.   i then ran the ends through the rubber band.  i used a hair tool to do that.   really handy!

bound chain braid

this is a basic technique but turns out really beautiful.   

just start your braid on one side or the other.   bring your braid over to one side and bring in hair for around 5 times.   then simple braid to a length that you can reach over to the other side and bring in hair on that side for five times or so.   repeat.   easy!

coiled snake braid

this is a swerving braid that goes back and forth across the head.   it's really easy to do.   i ended up making it an up do at the end.

start with a braid taking pieces into the braid from the front only.   then braid a couple without bringing in anything and bend the braid back towards the other side.   start snaking it.   still taking sections of heir into the braid from the front but now it will be coming into the opposite side.   continue this down to the end when you are out of loose hair to bring into the braid.

 bind the braid and twist the braid up onto itself.   you can see below where i have twisted upwards and then pulled the end through the braid on the head.   then just wrap the braided end around the braid on the head to secure it.

 to secure it, weave the end into the braid.   it gives an interesting and pretty sturdy hairstyle.

tiered waterfall braids

this is not the basic waterfall braiding technique.  even for church, my daughter is so active and her hair does not stay put so i have to use a sturdy waterfall technique.    the basic waterfall is more of a twist with a piece of hair being brought through the twist in each twist.   i do a braid, i bring in a little piece of hair from the front side.   just bring in hair from one side.   the opposite side, instead of the whole section of hair being let go through the twist, i keep a braid and only let go of half of the hair on the back side.   so, bring a section into the braid on the front side, let go of half of your whole section you are braiding on the back side.   hope that makes sense.

in order to do this hairstyle, i am using the same sections to go into and out of the sturdy waterfalls.   ok, not the same sections, but i keep bringing in the sections from the braid above and letting a little section out on the other end.

daniel from microsoft

i know you have had such calls, "hello, this is daniel from microsoft.", "your car warranty is about to expire", "through no fault of your own, your payment has been held up at the bank", "would you like to make money from home?". . . . . . .  "i'm going to help you"

yeah, sure you are.

please understand, i have been a telemarketer, legal and illegal. ( i turned in evidence on the illegal one as soon as i realized what was going on, by the way.)   i am nice to the ones who are legal.

 i have a bit of a twisted sense of humor so i do mess with some of them too.   i had one guy guy call who didn't speak english very well.   he told me my computer was "dangerous" and was going to "explode"!   i kid you not.   i did not pass up this opportunity to freak out and tell him i wasn't going anywhere near my computer if it was going to explode!   i kept this up for about 15 minutes until real life happened again and i had to take care of kids, family etc.   (i have nothing against people who do not speak the language.   i live in a foreign country and my language skills are only ok to meh.   i don't tell people i speak the language.   i tell them i kind of speak it.)
 i did lead one guy on who informed me that my auto warranty was about to expire.   i kept up with him for around 15 min. until i told him i didn't know if it was the warranty on my 1965 or 1964 car that was expiring.   i couldn't ask the dealer since i didn't know where it was bought because i wasn't born then. . . . he didn't think i was funny.

now, a friend of the family, a little old lady with a quick wit, used to ask if their mothers knew what they were doing for a living.   she gave them a "shame on you" and gave them what for.   she was just that awesome!

so, what's the point?!   ok, here it is - i have really started to think about my opportunities.   what can i do to not only amuse myself but also make the world a better place?   so, i have started a new approach to these scammers.   the last time "daniel from microsoft"called, (they are all daniel, even the ones who can't say daniel are named daniel), i told him that i knew he was not from microsoft and that he was lying to me.   i told him that he was trying to steal from me and that was wrong.   i told him that all the lies and theft he was committing every day for work was piling up on his head and he would be carrying those sins into the next life if he didn't repent in this one.  of course, he denied it and tried to get back to his script.   i was unrelenting.     stubborn is one of my strong suits and !hello!, i am a mother.   when you are busted, arguing with me is useless.   i continued telling him that what he was doing was wrong.   i told him that he was piling up sin upon his soul, he was only making his place with God worse and that he needed to repent.   he gave up and hung up on me.  weird.

ok, now stop laughing.   this was actually hard for me to do without laughing.   i had to keep reminding myself that i might actually get through to one of them.   while i have started doing this because it is just a seriously awesome way to deal with these guys, but also, because i hold out hope that i will be able to turn just one.

you may think this is impossible but let me tell you a sad but true story.   the, "google blog to make money" scam was going around.   i had had these guys call me so i did some research.   that is so my thing.   come at me, i will look it up and even the playing field.   the scam was that they would set you up in a googles blog and help you make money with it.   it would only cost you $500! . .  . by the way, this is where i started blogging.   i looked it up and started two free blogs with google just to see how it worked..   so, this guy calls me, i had some divine inspiration to start asking them if they had done it themselves.   this guy tells me that he had saved up and bought one for his wife!   at this point, i understood that he had been duped himself and he had no idea that what he was selling was a scam.   i explained to him that google blogs were free and that i had actually started two free ones just to try it out.  i explained how you made money with it the legal way.   i could hear the pain in his voice.   he suddenly had to go and thanked me for the information.   wish he had called me a week earlier, before he had put out the money.   i also explained how to contact the attorney general in his state.  i admit, most of these guys know that what they are selling is crap, some do not.   like i said, i worked for a place that was illegal.   i had no idea until they started telling me to call back and use a different name and disguise my voice.   having worked for legit places, i knew the laws and turned them in.

this route might not be for everyone, you actually have to believe in the good in people and care enough for them that you truly want them to be better.   this scripture says it all-

And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just—yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them—therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God.

might as well try. . . . and if nothing else, it's much better and more fun than just saying that you're not interested.   who knows, you might actually inspire someone to change their ways.